Right, there is something that is going to have to stop right this second, and that is people making jokes about “If the globe is warming up then where did all this snow come from, eh? Eh? Tell me that?” Because it is driving me crazy.
And when I say “people”, I mean mostly columnists, cartoonists and comedians. I know there is nothing else to write about at the moment (God help me, I’m writing about people writing about the snow) and I grant that it was a nice little coincidence that the Copenhagen summit happened just as it started snowing, but please, people, stop making jokes about the weather in relation to climate change. Stop pretending to be surprised that you had to put a scarf and hat on this morning when the world is supposed to be warming up. The two things are not related. Nobody who understands the science is claiming that global warming (if it happens) is going to make Britain hotter in the long run.
You hear me? Nobody is saying that, not the bleeding-heartedest, most climate-credulous ladyboy Yakult-drinker in Islington. It will do the opposite. Global warming will in the end interfere with the ocean currents, knock out the Gulf Stream, and remove the protection we have from the icy Nordic weather that is our due, as sharers of the same latitude as Siberia. Britain will get colder. So this joke about the weather just isn’t there.
Do you understand? It’s called “global warming”, but that doesn’t mean “nice warm weather”. So please stop making these stupid, stupid jokes in my newspapers and on my television.
I enjoyed this because every 10 minutes some wag is making the same lame joke “Ho ho, so much for global warming, eh? Eh?” and last summer “Woo, this global warming stuff is great! Moaplez!”. Only idiots who skipped high school geography and science lessons think that some snow (which for us in the UK is quite a surprising amount) means that climate change is now debunked.
Unfortunately either way nobody will care. There are obviously a whole bunch of people who are pushing agendas on both sides out of their own goals, not altruism – most of the climate “skeptics” don’t give a crap about future generations provided their climate control is functioning and they can afford to buy their lattes and burgers, and I am sure there is lots of money and agendas driving the green lobby too.
One strange season of weather doesn’t necessarily prove climate change either. Sure, we haven’t had snow this insanely bad since, what 30 years ago? But one mad winter does not a pattern make This will not stop folks going “See? See? It.Is.Happening!! We’re doooooooooomed”